What did you say?

Like most boys between ages 4 and 6, Cal and Nate are full of energy but they're also full of sarcasm. Here are only two of the many, many examples I could include.

First, there's Nate.

Nate had a reading assignment for homework. When I told him it was time to read he began to whine and complain. "Nate, remember your Bible verse. 'Do all things without grumbling or complaining.' Right?" I was trying to gently correct his behavior.

Nate started in again. "But mom, I hate reading. It's taking up all of my playtime. I am not going to read, right now." he demanded. "I don't want to. This is dumb!"

I was really disappointed in his attitude. So realizing a gentle steering was not going to work, I decided to unload the most painful punishment of all. I was preparing the perfect lecture in my head... a lecture that would make him feel so bad about his attitude that he would not only repent but be excited about reading when I was done with him.

I began. "Nate, listen. There are people all over this world who cannot read that book in front of you. They were never taught. There are little kids just like you who cannot read. There are even people my age who cannot read because they've never learned. Maybe they weren't able to go to school or maybe they were taught but they didn't want to practice. Perhaps they had your attitude." I went on for just a little while about all the things you are not able to do if you cannot read.

Nate sat patiently listening as I enlightened him as to the importance of reading. Finally I asked "So what's it going to be, Nate? Are you going to complain about having to read or are you going to be thankful that you can read?"

When I was finished, Nate just looked up at me and said "Sometimes I wish you were a potato head."

"What?" I asked.

"Then I could do this," and Nate, straight-faced and with a steady hand calmly leaned in and pretended to remove my lips.

"Nate, are you saying you wish you could remove my mouth so that I can't talk anymore?"

When he saw that I was not laughing (and luckily he did not notice his father in the kitchen hunched over in a silent laugh) he looked sheepishly up at me and simply shook his head yes.

Shortly after that he had finished reading his book!


Then there's Calvin.

We went out to eat with family the other night. Each person, including the children were given a menu. Calboy was staring intently at his with one finger up his nose.

I whispered softly, "Cal, get your finger out of your nose. Now what do you want to eat?"

"I want a hambugger!" He still has that cute way of mispronouncing words.

"No Cal, you never eat hamburgers when I order them. Think about it some more."

A few minutes later I looked over at Cal, and again he had his finger up his nose. "Calboy, I said stop picking your nose!" I insisted. Then he removed his finger from his nose and stuck it in his mouth. "Calvin!" I was so frustrated. "Cal, do not pick your nose and DO NOT eat your buggers!"

He glanced up at me, and then with just a hint of a smirk but still looking very serious, said "That's why I said I wanted a hambugger."

Trying to hold back a laugh I said, "Calvin, do not say that again. That's gross."

"Then I want that..." and he pointed to the picture of a hamburger on the menu.

I love my sarcastic munchkins!